Some much has happened over these years. I guess by writing on the blog may make me feel better and perhaps make me understand myself even more. I certainly hope so. This blog of mine is quite private actually... Not many ppl know about it... I never like to disclose this blog of mine to others unless they are trustworthy enough. The topics i sae here can be quite sensitive. You can sae this blog is my chu qi tong or punching bag. I have already more or less get rid of the old habit of mine: punching the wall to vent my anger. I seldom pull any punches liao... Those were the days when they were needed anytime when the need arises. I think i am still keeping the bandage that accompanied with me during those days. it has served me well... Maybe you can sae that i've grown up and be more mature...

Mum and Dad: It's not that i like to splurge my money away. I have my reasons for doing that. I can understand how u all feel. I know you all are worried about me. I'm already grown up yet I have accomplished nothing that you all can be proud of. I still give u all problems here and there. I know what i'm doing although in a way i may not be right. But i will never regret it cos it will be terrible to do so. It was a difficult time for me. I know I always delay on my payments. I know that I will be on time for that. I will do it on time. Dun worry, even if i have to suffer I will clear all my loans and everything on time even it takes me to suffer. I will sacrifice money that i set aside for myself. I know the importance of saving. I really do but I need some time to do it. Recently, those SMS that you have sent me have made me grow, made me realise some things that i never did. I think i shed some tears sometimes while reading it especially when you all sae " We all love you" my heart always melts. Take care man. I'm worried bout u all actually jus that i dun show it. Esp Dad, everytime when i hear u fell ill, I get veri gan chiong about you.

2 months more and I have to visit the Heart centre for check up. Recently, I onli had 1 small attack other than that i guess there wasn't much of a problem. Maybe my change in diet and gym sessions helped. I'm monitoring my diet veri closely now and fir the first time i actually went on a diet to lose some weight. partially due to sailing. i'm keeping my weight below 70kg now. I don't visit the fast food outlets often now. I even turn my head away when i see laksa, my favourite food instead i went for kway teow soup. I'm determined this time to keep myself fit and healthy. I still remember that my target to achieve my 6 pac in 4 months. I was never so determined before. This time i know I am. Thanks to you. You played a very big part in this. You made me survive through this difficult period. I realli 1 2 thank you. Back to the topic, actually I know i'm actually very scared everytime i think of my heart problems it's just that i don't show it. The thought of it is veri scary. I'm veri worried actually. I hope there's nothing wrong with my body. I'm sorry that i've abused it sometimes. I even cut down my alcohol intake and i don't even smoke. Haiz...

I guess i should sum up this post. I hope i wun have to wait for a few more years to update this blog. No, I shouldn't hope. I SHOULD REPHRASE IT: i will make sure i update the blog soon. Till den. Take care.

PS: I hope I'm right this time. I really do.

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